Saturday, January 6, 2018


This time we are going to discuss the concept of Amatya: The Minister from the section termed as ‘Amatyapatti’ the analogy for modern day management term being The Manager. You may recall your health insurance situation once if that may be of any comfort. It is all about management and in this case the focus is on how to get your managers as per Arthashastra.

So, one guy says the king can appoint his friends and classmates as ministers. Another idiot says the king has to appoint those whose secrets are known to him and that if these appointed ministers deviate away from the king’s opinion, he can then reveal those secrets and put them in distress. He goes on to blabber the king will also maintain a level of decency, simply because the ministers also would know his secrets. To me this is more of extortion than executive operations. Also the king and the ministers seem like teenagers threatening each other with fail videos of each other. To even consider this as a respectful piece of literature is insult to pretty much every word used in this sentence.

It is almost as if minister positions are jam jars to be filled with favourite flavours. Not one bit of people’s representation and this crap is supposed to display my history from hundreds of years back. Am I the only one observing Culture Coloured Publication Propaganda from the times of multiversal [this time drifting away from universe, kindly hang on] manic depressive monarchy.

Now look at this pic:

The idea thrown at us is that the king needs ministers because one wheel doesn’t turn.

Well, do you have any idea what a UNICYCLE is?????

This is the proof that back when this crap was composed, they did not have a unicycle and this author who is so Thought-Leaderly-Translating the nonsense into trendy-damp-turd with a chill-factor and yo-bro look has no clue this metaphor makes no sense in today’s time.

Again, something flowery and sounding obvious being thrown at us in the name of principle with the back-story that this is from great piece of literature that is old and valuable.

They must have had access to the best weed possible when they conceptualised this idea. Columbian cocaine involves petrol and acids and so can’t be placed in the arthashastra timeline. I am just being contrabandly fair, also herbal, so no chemicals from corporations. I am sure you feel the high-t. I am not sure what colour of elephants they saw flying when they decided they are going to literally manufacture this scripture of venom that can itch a society to divided-death.

Let’s proceed further, shall we?

Have a look at this.

The first part says the king should employ those as ministers whose fathers and grandfathers have served as ministers. This is similar to the noble-blood nonsense that was used to recruit high ranking military officers and officials of the king’s court [even in the west, recall Napolean??]. 

So this is where the great calamity of dynastic-politics got standardised. It makes sense now. The kings have established their dynasties as rulers and so the rest of the king’s joker-team decided to establish there own version of DYNASTIC-SLAVERY-THAT-PAYS-WELL and guess what they used as a tool: PUBLISHING. All they had to do was write ‘scriptures’ in their own Klingon and propagate the theory of dynastic ministerhood among the citizens and most importantly the kings.

‘…though offended will never desert him’ indicates how intricate was the conceptualisation of the DYNASTIC-SLAVERY-THAT-PAYS-WELL.

The next part is a gem of an example for ancient hypocrisy crystallised for the current and future. 

‘….such faithfulness is seen even among dumb animals: cow for example…’

WOW, just WOW……the GO-mother is a dumb animal but hey, it is faithful. Guess what uses GO-mother as example for dumb animals: ARTHASHASTRA. 

This is a case of a well fed goat getting into a pot and making a biriyani of itself. How considerate? or should I say, How Confederate? The all-important ever-comprehensive representative-of-cultural-history ‘principles of management’ has documented its belief in the existence of ‘dumb’ animals and used the all-holy-no-nonsense-not-to-be-butchered GO-mother COW as an example. 

How can a holy animal, considered a representative of the eternal-whoever-that-is can be dumb and why would Arthashastra have it that way? 

We need to be a bit fair and unlike arthshastra, a bit more nice. Let’s give it an escape. The translation of the Arthshastra has the mention of dumb animals and uses COW as an example.

This means the dumbass idiot [apologies for insulting all idiots who were, are and going to be] who authored this translation of Arthashastra had no clue what he was translating. The follow-up to that is: who on earth would even have the objective translating such nonsense and using it for spewing management principle satire that all readers will never recognise? Let me tell you who: The one who read Peter Drucker and wanted to become a local Peter Drucker assuming he is going to motivate a new South-East-Asian Toyota-level manufacturing business. 

Again, someone in the present/recent-past has had access to really good contraband and this time we can account cocaine as well as a possibility. Fairness is important you see, even if it were to be contraband. The shastras might take that as blasphemy and who knows they might spring out a new scripture so dumb that animals such as humans in the year 7018 might believe the 5000-year-old revenge-crap-literature is actually the work of ancient followers of a lord of the non-existent who had the capacity to stop breathing for 500 years and sing songs to get hurricanes and to add a bit of holy flavour, were able to split the ocean so the GO-mother can go on a pilgrimage that it must within its life. Boy! My brain is burning! [or is it ‘If you smelllllllll what the rock, in the temple, is cooking?’  sports entertainment is always fun when used in any context, even IPL, just my thought]

Have a look at one more exhibit [hope I am allowed to say this]:

‘…he shall employ as ministers such as are born of high family…’ indicates the institutionalised format of racism in the name of ‘nobility by birth’ and this was used as a statement defining the philosophy of getting ministers for administration. The statement ends with a cracker of a phrase ‘…ministerial appointments shall purely depend on qualifications.’ 

So, someone burped out the idea of born-of-high-family as a qualification-for-ministerial-appointment and the greatest-scholar-who-had-access-to-the-best-weed included that in the most misogynistic nonsense mankind has ever composed: Arthshastra. The world now has so many brain damaged intellectuals who believe the modern management principles come from or resemble what this misogynistic nonsense covers in great detail, not to miss out, in systematic ‘cerebral-haemorrhage’ style.

So the ‘Amatya’ part says get your friends, or those whom you can control through extortion or those who are born of high family. How intellectual, fair, sincere, correct, humane and representative of the culture of this part of the world. Absolutely DEMO(LISH)CRATIC, isn't it?  

The rest of the world better take good example of this or else the wrath of the holy one shall rain hurricanes and blow earthquakes or worse, appoint Trump as the president. Try being a believer now. Please remember, you need to be a good Amatya: The Minister/ the dot [may be the holy one as well]. 

Best regards,

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